Yeay!

23Oct09

Few of my pictures gonna be published in the next Hailer Mag!!! =) hahaK!

*spasm*

k la, i know la i’m still an amateur photographer.

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T- for Tasha!

22Oct09

I was in miri for my dad’s funeral, but amidst the grievances, someone pauses the sadness for awhile…

First, there were two souls. Got married. Became one.

=

Natasha Luhong Lucas

Tasha with dad...

=)

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i don’t understand this one.

14Oct09

“If you don’t receive/see/experience a miracle, you are a miracle for someone else.”

Then, how is that useful for me?

saw this on someone’s msn.

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Stunted.

13Oct09

I was looking through 11k of pictures that’s stored in my hard disk… i came up with a conclusion: Stunted.

I feel very stunted with the way/style i take pictures.

I could imagine thousands of pictures, but i couldn’t ‘capture’ it…

sigh.

Can someone just borrow me a full frame camera, a flash, and a 24-70, a wide angle lens. A model.

please?

Regards,

Joshua Anthony Hajok

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New day

10Oct09

Its 7.06am…

I’m still awake…

How long will i be like this.

I’m praying. Still praying. I tried to keep myself busy…

Its not easy….

Sigh…

God..

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10Oct09

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Thank You

06Oct09

Dear family and friends,

On behalf of my family(they may do their own words of appreciation), i would like to say thank you so much for your words of encouragement, condolences and prayers. I really don’t know how to thank you guys but all i could do for now is to write this note and to make sure each of your help that was directly or indirectly, be it just words, are greatly appreciated. It helped, a lot.

To those who couldn’t come for my dad’s funeral, its okay. Nothing wrong with that.

May God bless you all and well, an obvious advice from me would be… Spend time with your family as much as you can. and give thanks to the Lord.

-Joshua A. Hajok

Anthony Hajok Silek

4th July 1950- 27th September 2009

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Dear Dad

27Sep09

Dear dad,

Today, i was waken up by a phone call from Ian. I was wondering la why he called. Suddenly ask me whether i’m okay or not. Told him i just woke up. After i end the call, i saw a message from him, “oh my goodness Joshua!! Hang in there”…  thought it was some random stuff…

Then Alip called… ASk if i’m doing fine or not. I said… i’m okay. Whats up?

she said, “kau blom dengar ka berita dari abang abin dari kampung?”

“belum”

“kau cuba call dia dulu”

Hmm… I was already wondering and expecting something… like… worst case scenario… because i remembered u said u , mom, and lydia wanted to go back kampung for a while…

Then i called JOn… Jon passed the phone to Andy… i guess Jon understands that he can’t really be soft in these things… hehe. So, yeah. Andy told me you got some kinda chest pain. I was like.. okay…

“is he conscious?” i asked.

“….no” andy replied with his voice staggering…

“okay..”

A moment later…

“Jossh… Dad is not here anymore”.

“…. Okay.”

Dad…

I’ll try to stay strong till i get back and see you. even right now… though i’m alone… in this lil room… with my hands trembling… holding back my tears… =)

Love,

your son…

(honestly, i want to finish my studies then come back…xox. still got assignments to do la dad… i want to come back then show my results to u..)

sigh… this is pathetic… i’m writing on some kinda web crap… i’m doing this because i can’t tell it to anyone… i can’t tell anyone  coz there’s no one around… it sucks to live alone… i remember how i would just randomly tell u my feelings… hehe. kinda fun to hear ur ‘elderly answers+advices..lol.

I’m basically pouring out my heart on this… blog… deep inside, its more than whatever i wrote right now… dad i love you… see u soon.. well… physically, just ur body. I’ve always missed going back home but… not in this kinda way? =)…

dad… gotta go now. get a ticket and see everyone back. k. =) hugs

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Dearest

16Sep09

Dear people that completes a place i call ‘home’.

Miss you guys!

Selamat Hari Raya…

=(

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Yeap! Dat’s it.

15Sep09

Yeah. i admit.

From now on, can call me the worst person for time management….

Still…

Something i’ve been struggling for thousands of years… my own discipline.

What makes the difference between an amateur and a professional is their ability to discipline themselves in doing their task…. Professionals can, i can’t… =(

I don’t want to stay as an amateur!

I wonder if i was already like this in Heaven before i tripped and fell when i jump over the clouds with my friends.

hmmm…

sigh…

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