Life’s Rhapsody

Something’s Wrong/Missing

23Nov09

I’m still awake. Haven’t sleep. God knows how long i’ve been awake.

I’m suppose to focus on my studies, exams.

But tell me something, why i can’t focus, i’m not. I forced myself to read my notes. They just look like words on the monitor, without any meanings.

I question myself what’s wrong/what’s missing…

What happened to the fire that wants to finish my studies…. it seems to be disappearing…

Filed under: Always, Dad, Home, Life@24 | Closed

Money Money Money $$$

19Nov09

I always go through this phase. many times.

I hate it. I want something, but i can never get it. Never.

Coz no money. I’m gonna be out of money, coz 1, stupid illness. 2. expensive food=good for body, cheap food=die early, so guess la which one i go for. 3. Travel- and public transport could be painstaking 4. Entertainment= i tried cutting down on this, but trust me, without it, i’ll be in my room forever, which none of you would want to go through. 5. Just to make things moving= sometimes u just need to pay then no claims and all. that sucks. its like ur own effort, and ur not working. I’m talking on their behalf too. 6. WHen you’re depressed, u just don’t know what ur gonna spend on.

Sigh.

Filed under: Always | Leave a Comment

Sing

19Nov09

I was singing in the rain today,

I love it.

And i wanna share that feeling…

Just with you.

Filed under: Always | Closed

What is Love?

19Nov09

I got a friend, he asked me “what is love?”

i said…

“i don’t know…feelings and emotions towards a person which stands out and basically, u would die for the person?”

He replied “don’t u think love is more of a commitment, than just emotions and feelings towards a person?”

i found a lot of quotes on marriage and love. Some of it are really harsh, yet all of them somehow make sense.

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. -Doug Larson

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. -Brendan Behan

I don’t wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone. -Javan

When a marriage works, nothing on earth can take its place. -Helen Gahagan

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. -John Steinback

All love shifts and changes. I don’t know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time. -Julie Andrews

All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. -Raymond Hull

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. -James A. Baldwin

I think i did a post something about this too before… sigh. Love. Everyone can talk as if they’ve been through the worst and thought they’ve figured it out. That’s the downfall. We could never ever figure out love. For it is like how u perceive, the perception, perspective, an act of deciphering, just that it changes its ‘face’ every second, and the next thing we know, BAM! we got it all wrong.

I believe to love someone is to understand the person, though we could never understand. ever. To like and like a person, like we’ve never liked before. and this must be done everyday. every hour. every minute-commitment. I guess that’s what wears people out huh? People who got divorced and all. I don’t know. For some people, they took their partner for granted, having so comfortable that they think they would always have their partner be waiting for them and be there when they fall or whatsoever, say when they need the ‘love’ or ‘affection’. But little do they know that’s what their partner would think/want/need the same thing. He/She needs the affection, the understanding, attention and care. Love wouldn’t work if its a one person doing everything. Might as well be single for the rest of your life.

I’m not a good boyfriend myself. I got testimonials. it sucks. And if you’re laughing (whoever is reading) right now, i don’t think you are too. If u think you’re so good of being a boyfriend/girlfriend, you’re not. Just stating the obvious.

who am i to talk about love.No one.

Love is like piercing a spear through a couple to keep them together. When one decides to free him/herself, both would get hurt. For when you love someone, there’s no such thing as an easy let go. Both would bleed. If it was, then it was not love. For when one is in love, the last thing they have in mind is to let go. – Joshua Anthony Hajok

Filed under: Always, Life@24, Quotes | 1 Comment

The Clueless Photographer

12Nov09

Just a quick update, I went to Kuching few days back for a mission trip (Sat-Monday). Few days before that, the Hailer had some photoshoots. And i was the ‘official’ photographer- official in a sense that no one else was there to take la. Coz they had to set up the place or be the model or direct.

FYI, the photographer must work with the creative director for the concept, mood, style and the set manager to come up with the fashion page- we knew not that these are the things needed to do the photoshoot. I only knew that 6 hours before the day of shoot.

During the photoshoot, a friend was asking me, “what kind of mood do you want your photo to be?”. I stood there, clueless. The fashion shoot was nice. I learnt a lot of stuff about photography and fashion. Indeed, i discovered my greatest strength weakness. I can’t DIRECT for nuts!

I can’t get the shot in my head, how the models are going to look like, the pose and all. It was a clueless fashion shoot for me, as a photographer (i’m not implying this to anyone but myself). One of the reason would be that my command in English, can sapu jalan la..
Seriously. For example, if the sentence was supposed to be like this: Could you tilt your head a bit to the right?
I would say it like this: Could you put your head a bit like… sideways abit. as in, *tilt the head to the right* something like that. Can can?

Goodness…

2: i have no idea or whatsoever about fashion shoot. I don’t watch America’s Next Top Model, i have no clue what kinda pose. except for asianposes.com. That, i know.

Lights, flash, lens, camera. This would be about the set equipments. THank God for Paul, a friend of mine. His father decided to buy 10 fluorescent lights and lend it to us. The lights were great, but I just had no idea how to play around with it. But it was my first time playing with these lights for photoshoots. If u tell me to do probably a 3 point lighting for video, that would be much much more easier. I’ve seen people do it, hence, we just imitate.

But what makes a picture good, is still the photographer. And i learned that i’m far from being able to take a good picture.

But it is my dream to have my own photo studio, not for family kinda thing but for fashion. Having supermodels to shoot, to big shots from business or politics. To edit a movie, be it online or offline editing that would result in a blockbuster movie in Hollywood. Why Hollywood? Coz if its good in Hollywood, don’t worry about the rest of the countries.

Indeed God’s plan is just too much for me to understand and to enormous for me to decipher, and impossible for me to even see the glimpse of it. In life, sometimes you just gotta flow with it, not analyze it. sigh.

Our truest life is when we are in dreams, awake.-Henry David Thoreau

.sigh.tired.fever.aches.missing.