Best is after.
February 25th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
This is not my first time i look at the stars.. and for now, hopefully not my last. But one this is for sure… the stars looked so beautiful. Yesterday, i went to the morning market, about 4 am to have my super awesome kolok mee breakfast. Then i saw the brightest star i’ve ever seen in my life. It was so bright and it looked as if it was flickering (and i hope it wasn’t some space probe or whatever UFO) like a Christmas tree light. and i saw, a super bright shooting star just flew across the dark canvas of the skies. it was pretty magnificent. Made my morning much much much awesome-er.
Its great to just stargaze after the ‘heaviness’ of change that happened in a span of less than 6 months. Intense, pumped up, tired, afraid, but most of the time, i was in doubt. the whole time. every step i took, there was the faith, sometimes its on full bar (if faith could be measured like a battery pack bar), but most of the time, doubt filled this heart. My faith was so small.
It is difficult, but bearable. It is also easy, but not laid back. Always having to be careful, ready, vigilant. Its tiring but sometimes i wonder where does my help, strength and courage.
I cringe, but smile. i am saddened… but delighted, in suffering. stupid. sometimes i thought i’m losing my mind, but in fact, i just am learning to live this new life i’m in. I never knew life was so much more than booze, work, sex, family… its amazing. But bad habits tend to crawl back. Fending off is another thing. =)
But all this, its worth it. worth living. Worth it. I’m expecting more, not from myself. But to see God’s work all over the place.
After all this, the best is yet to come. It keeps on getting better and better every time.
Just like that morning when i saw the stars. It rained in the day, but the night… twas the clear skies. Constellations. Beautiful. Just the way how i would describe. And after the rougher part has been done, even my heart would be so delighted.
Thank you God for puttng the stars in the skies, and i guess You know each stars by name.
